Phil for Humanity Phil for Humanity
A Guide for the Survival of Humankind and Helping the World, Society, and Yourself.



Arguments can be Good


In the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People", Dale Carnegie wrote "the only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it." I strongly disagree with this philosophy, because the noble purpose of an argument is persuade someone or people through logic and reasoning to change their minds for the betterment of themselves or the world.

Dale Carnegie's purpose for avoiding arguments was to deviously influence people and selfishly win friends. I find that I may not always win arguments, but I did constructively influence someone and I was constructively influenced by them. Additionally, at least I was honest in my concern in trying to help, instead of avoiding conflict entirely.


Keep in mind that arguments are only good if done correctly with care for the other party. Never criticize, personally attack, insult, or condemn anyone. Always show respect, have a noble purpose for the disagreement, and always have an end to an argument and move on to another topic. Don't get angry even if the other party does not argue fairly, expect it. Just because someone continues to disagree, part in good terms and stay friends.

Therefore I ask you, is it better "to win friends and influence people" by avoiding arguments or is it better to try to improve your friends and the world and in so trying, also improve yourself?

by Phil for Humanity
on 20070519

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