Phil for Humanity Phil for Humanity
A Guide for the Survival of Humankind and Helping the World, Society, and Yourself.



How to Really Increase Your Self Confidence


Almost everyone needs a boost in their self confidence, yet few of us know how. And even fewer intentionally seek out ways to really increase our self confidence.

So, here is my personal list of how I increase my self confidence.
  1. Physical Appearance

    • Dress for success: Dressing up is an easy confidence builder. Even if just going to the supermarket, we can still dress comfortably and casually but never dress down.
    • Be hygienic: Showering makes us feel rejuvenated and being well groomed makes us feel smart.
    • Exercise: Exercising makes the body and mind fell better.
    • Good posture: Stand tall, and our egos will too.

  2. Speaking

    • Stop using filler words: Stop using filler words, such as "um" or "ah" or "like". At first, this may be difficult, so just try using fewer filler words. These filler words make the speaker sound uncertain and less articulate. And this chips away at self confidence.
    • Speak loudly and clearly: I know a lot of people who are confident with what they say, but they do not sound confident because of how they say it. Just speak loudly and clearly.
    • Speak slowly: The best trick that works for me is to speak more slowly than what I am accustomed to. This gives me time to think about what I am going to say and how I am going to say it. I am often told that I sound more confident than most people, yet no one has so far noticed (or at least mentioned) that I intentionally decrease the pace of some conversations.
    • Stay true to yourself: If you are expressing your beliefs or opinions, do not be ashamed. Be proud of your beliefs and opinions, and be open to the beliefs and opinions of others.

  3. Accomplishments and Goals

    • Your accomplishments: Make a list of your accomplishments and successes. Review them whenever you need a pick me up.
    • Your strengths: Make a list of your strengths and also review when periodically.
    • Goals: List each of your goals that you wish to accomplish.
    • Breakdown goals: Breakdown your goals into manageable parts. Large goals are much more intimidating than small steps. Completing small discrete steps increases confidence.
    • What makes you happy: Think about what really makes you happy, and not all the things that you need to do. Do more of what makes you happy.
    • Be pro-active instead of re-active: In my IT job, we call being re-active as "firefighting". Always solving problems and never taking time out to work on goals is a sure method to exhaustion, depression, and feeling that you never accomplish anything.
    • Delegate and leadership: Delegation is always hard in the beginning, yet you will wonder how you accomplished anything with it. Eventually as a leader, you will accomplish much more than you thought possible.

  4. Acceptance

    • Accept mistakes happen: Mistakes happen, and sometimes often. Uses them as a learning experience, find the root cause, and try not to repeat them.
    • No one is perfect: This is not surprise to anyone, yet people often mentally beat themselves up when they make mistakes. Thus, they become depressed. Learn to laugh at your laugh at your imperfections.
    • Life is not perfect: This may be obvious, yet many people do not enjoy as much life as they can. Deal that life is not perfect, and enjoy the ride as much as possible.


  5. Gratitude and Compliments

    • Be thankful: If you are reading this, then you have more to be thankful for than most people.
    • Donít be materialistic: Do not dwell on what you want or do not have. This will only depress you. Instead think about achieving your goals, and good things will come later.
    • Accept compliments: With humility.
    • Give honest compliments: Do so often.

Thatís it! I donít expect anyone to follow each of these tips, but try just a few of them. And good luck.

by Phil for Humanity
on 07/28/2007

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